I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
