There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
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