xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
