Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
