Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
this will be a night to untag.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
