I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
