just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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