Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
