I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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