You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
