So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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