so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
