i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize