I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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