Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
