I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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