Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
