I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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