Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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