I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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