Pregnant stripper...not hot.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
