I think my vagina is haunted
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize