idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
