It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
People in love make me want to vomit
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize