If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
