ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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