Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
