well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
