Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
