did you get engaged???
return my video game
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
