So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
