I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
