yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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