we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
