Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
