Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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