Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
