Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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