A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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