so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize