She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
