She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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