his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
