where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
