Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
