I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
