oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
