Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
