Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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