Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
