Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
