some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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