she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
