Pappa wants mamma naked
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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