I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Farmville is her only friend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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