How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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