What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Naked. naked and bneed help.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
