just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize