So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize