For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
