Pappa wants mamma naked
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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