; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
