How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
