were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
