Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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