They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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