The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
