This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize