he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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